My prenatal class did not really prepare me emotionally for my labour or the post natal period. What it did was intellectually prepare me for delivery but we did not discuss what our labour plans looked like and how we would deal with a labour that did not go as planned. This cursory approach would be fine for someone who had a textbook delivery but for me, my worse case scenario happened and I was not prepared emotionally for this.
I believe that if I had done additional research into prenatal classes in Toronto and the different philosophies out there, I would have been in a better frame of mind.
I recently came across The Nesting Place http://www.thenestingplace.ca/ which is run by Amanda Spakowski who is also a doula. I met with her and we discussed her philosophy of Birthing from Within. As it says on her website "Birthing naturally means birthing in the way that comes naturally to you". This was a refreshing thought as Amanda prepares her parents-to-be for their ideal birth but also for the unexpected. The question of "How would you deal with your worst case scenario" is asked and parents have time to answer this question which in turn prepares you to handle the unknowns of labour.
What was also interesting in my conversation was Amanda's deep understanding of the difficulties of the post partum period and I was happy to learn that this is discussed in her classes as well.
Amanda addresses what you need to know about your delivery including:
•The stages of labour and labour support
•Specific techniques for pain coping, including compassionate use of epidurals and other medical support
•How to communicate with your health care provider
•Handling the unexpected during childbirth, physically and emotionally
•Birth art to explore feelings, fears and positive intentions
•Becoming a parent – the partner’s perspective
•Preparing for postpartum
•Caring for your new baby
I wish I had found her classes before I had my girls.
For more information on the Birthing From Within philosophy please visit http://www.birthinfromwithin.com/.
Me and my girls
Monday, September 14, 2009
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Monday, September 7, 2009
My weekend alone with Juliet
For the first time since Juliet was born, I had the opportunity to spend the whole weekend alone with her. Brett and Ainsley went up to the cottage and so I was a parent of an only child again.
Boy, is having one child easy. I had forgotten what it felt like to only have to focus on one little person. So Juliet and I went on walks to get coffee. We had a girls night in and I actually got chores done and the house did not look like a disaster zone.
Nights were tougher as I never sleep well when I'm by myself in the house despite our alarm system. I have an active imagination and I'm a bit of a worrier.
All in all we had a peaceful weekend together and Juliet started to crawl!!!
I definitely missed Ainsley. She called me each night and told me about her day. Thankfully she is getting old enough to be able to sustain a fairly decent phone conversation. I was very happy to see her upon her return today and I gave her TONS of hugs and kisses.
I think its important to spend quality one-on-one time with each child as they are both unique and deserve the undivided attention. I will definitely be planning more Juliet and Mommy days and Ainsley and Mommy days soon.
As a side note, I need a Mommy day!!! That's my next step. I'm thinking of an over night spa day once I have weaned Juliet. Ahhh....sleeping in....I have forgotten what that feels like.
Boy, is having one child easy. I had forgotten what it felt like to only have to focus on one little person. So Juliet and I went on walks to get coffee. We had a girls night in and I actually got chores done and the house did not look like a disaster zone.
Nights were tougher as I never sleep well when I'm by myself in the house despite our alarm system. I have an active imagination and I'm a bit of a worrier.
All in all we had a peaceful weekend together and Juliet started to crawl!!!
I definitely missed Ainsley. She called me each night and told me about her day. Thankfully she is getting old enough to be able to sustain a fairly decent phone conversation. I was very happy to see her upon her return today and I gave her TONS of hugs and kisses.
I think its important to spend quality one-on-one time with each child as they are both unique and deserve the undivided attention. I will definitely be planning more Juliet and Mommy days and Ainsley and Mommy days soon.
As a side note, I need a Mommy day!!! That's my next step. I'm thinking of an over night spa day once I have weaned Juliet. Ahhh....sleeping in....I have forgotten what that feels like.
Natural Mommie Review
A big thank you to Amanda from Natural Mommie for her review of "Baby's First Journal". Please check it out at http://www.naturalmommie.com/2009/09/glow-baby.html .
Friday, September 4, 2009
4BabyandMom Review
"Baby's First Journal" has gotten a fabulous review from Lauren at 4BabyandMom. Check it out at http://4babyandmom.blogspot.com/2009/09/keep-organized-after-baby-babys-first.html.
Thank you Lauren!
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Birth Story - Ainsley
Birth stories are very powerful. Every mom I know has shared their's with me and I have shared mine with them. There is even a TV show that revolves around the birthing experience.
When I was pregnant with Ainsley, my eldest, I fantasized about her delivery. I dreamed about going into labour, calling my loved ones to come to the hospital, and delivering her naturally and quickly. I figured it would hurt and that I would have my epidural, push her out and then cuddle her and all would be well.
I started to get an inkling that my dreams would not come true when I had my 32 week ultrasound which indicated that she was face up. I googled this and found out that being face up during delivery made a natural delivery more difficult and often came with back labour. I read this and thought that won't happen to me. The baby will turn.
When I finally went into labour 2 days before my due date I was so excited!!! My water broke at 10:30pm just as we were getting ready to go to sleep. I then googled what this meant. The website said my contractions would start probably 12-24 hours later. I decided to have a shower and then try to go to sleep. Well, 40 minutes later my contractions were 4 minutes apart and Brett and I were heading to the hospital.
Thank goodness we went when I did because within 20 minutes of arriving at the hospital the contractions went from uncomfortable to down right unbearable. I was having contraction on top of contraction (they never told me about this in my prenatal class) and I couldn't get away from them. Yes, I was having back labour.
When the doctor came to check if my water had indeed broken, I asked if my baby was face up and she confirmed that indeed that was the case. That is when I had a sickening feeling that a natural delivery may not take place.
Soon after this I was begging for the epidural and as soon as it went in about 45 agonizing minutes later I started to feel much better. I was also 8cms. I was hopeful that maybe things would go as planned and quickly. However, when I was 10 cms, Ainsley was not making her way out and no matter how hard they tried to turn her she wouldn't budge.
I pushed for two hours and would have kept going but when they came in to check on me after pushing I could see in their faces when I asked if they thought I could deliver her naturally, that they really didn't think so.
So my dream scenario did not happen. In fact, my worst case scenario happened and I was not prepared. I had come into the hospital saying that my birth plan was to avoid a c-section and that was what I ended up having.
The c-section was not great for a number of reasons (other than having major surgery). I didn't get to see Ainsley for about an hour after the delivery which is a long time to wait to see your new baby. My milk didn't come in right away so she lost a lot of weight and so breastfeeding also did not go as I had fantasized. My body felt alien to me. I was swollen and in pain. It was hard to not be able to get up to change my new baby's diaper because it hurt so much. I felt inadequate.
I mourned the loss of a natural delivery for months and to this day I still feel a little bit sad that I will never experience that. I intellectually know that I am lucky to have had a healthy baby and to have recovered well from the experience. However, emotionally I was not prepared for this eventuality. We never talked in our prenatal class about how we would feel if our births did not go according to plan. We didn't discuss what would happen in the post-partum period (other than depression) and how we could deal with these situations.
If I could do it all over again with what I know now, I would have searched for a prenatal class that talked about our hopes and dreams but made us look at our fears and how we would deal with them should they happen.
When I was pregnant with Ainsley, my eldest, I fantasized about her delivery. I dreamed about going into labour, calling my loved ones to come to the hospital, and delivering her naturally and quickly. I figured it would hurt and that I would have my epidural, push her out and then cuddle her and all would be well.
I started to get an inkling that my dreams would not come true when I had my 32 week ultrasound which indicated that she was face up. I googled this and found out that being face up during delivery made a natural delivery more difficult and often came with back labour. I read this and thought that won't happen to me. The baby will turn.
When I finally went into labour 2 days before my due date I was so excited!!! My water broke at 10:30pm just as we were getting ready to go to sleep. I then googled what this meant. The website said my contractions would start probably 12-24 hours later. I decided to have a shower and then try to go to sleep. Well, 40 minutes later my contractions were 4 minutes apart and Brett and I were heading to the hospital.
Thank goodness we went when I did because within 20 minutes of arriving at the hospital the contractions went from uncomfortable to down right unbearable. I was having contraction on top of contraction (they never told me about this in my prenatal class) and I couldn't get away from them. Yes, I was having back labour.
When the doctor came to check if my water had indeed broken, I asked if my baby was face up and she confirmed that indeed that was the case. That is when I had a sickening feeling that a natural delivery may not take place.
Soon after this I was begging for the epidural and as soon as it went in about 45 agonizing minutes later I started to feel much better. I was also 8cms. I was hopeful that maybe things would go as planned and quickly. However, when I was 10 cms, Ainsley was not making her way out and no matter how hard they tried to turn her she wouldn't budge.
I pushed for two hours and would have kept going but when they came in to check on me after pushing I could see in their faces when I asked if they thought I could deliver her naturally, that they really didn't think so.
So my dream scenario did not happen. In fact, my worst case scenario happened and I was not prepared. I had come into the hospital saying that my birth plan was to avoid a c-section and that was what I ended up having.
The c-section was not great for a number of reasons (other than having major surgery). I didn't get to see Ainsley for about an hour after the delivery which is a long time to wait to see your new baby. My milk didn't come in right away so she lost a lot of weight and so breastfeeding also did not go as I had fantasized. My body felt alien to me. I was swollen and in pain. It was hard to not be able to get up to change my new baby's diaper because it hurt so much. I felt inadequate.
I mourned the loss of a natural delivery for months and to this day I still feel a little bit sad that I will never experience that. I intellectually know that I am lucky to have had a healthy baby and to have recovered well from the experience. However, emotionally I was not prepared for this eventuality. We never talked in our prenatal class about how we would feel if our births did not go according to plan. We didn't discuss what would happen in the post-partum period (other than depression) and how we could deal with these situations.
If I could do it all over again with what I know now, I would have searched for a prenatal class that talked about our hopes and dreams but made us look at our fears and how we would deal with them should they happen.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Healthy Baby Network - Cool new products for mom
Good afternoon everyone,
I am very excited today as "Baby's First Journal" has been listed as a Cool new product for mom on the Healthy Baby Network. Check them out at http://www.healthybabynetwork.com/newsletters/Aug_2009.aspx.
I am working very hard at getting the word out about "Baby's First Journal" and it is always nice to see people embracing this journal.
Thanks to Theresa who included us on her list.
Lindsay
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